my new friend Leroy

What a week!  I've been all over the place.  Definitely a change from spending hours on end denting my couch.

So I wake up this morning to a lovely rainy day in Toronto to find a greenish bug on my window screen.  I should preface this by saying I don't like bugs of any sort.  This one, however, peaked my interest.  There's a hole in my screen so this bug must've crawled through it.  Trouble is that this bug hasn't moved all day long.  I did watch him unload a bug-sized dump... impressive.

I ate breakfast, had a shower and this bug hasn't moved at all.  I figured he'd come to stay with me so I named him Leroy after Encyclopedia Brown (if you remember those books you are my new hero).  I've been checking on Leroy for most of the day.  I think he's hurt - looks like his leg is stuck but hang on (just ran to the window) - he's making some progress towards the hole in the window screen!  I think his leg is broken though - ouch.

I tried helping Leroy to freedom by rattling the screen a bit.  Each time I do that he shakes his head to let me know he's still hangin' in there.  I feel a little helpless right now... should I help Leroy out of my window into the wild?  He might end up on the windshield of a Audi A4 only to be washed off by some disgruntled gas station attendant.  

For some strange reason, Leroy is bringing me comfort.  I'm really not sure why that is but I'm sure he was sent to tell me to hang in there.  Forces bigger than me are at work to set me free. 

Perhaps I'll try to help Leroy out now.  Back in a sec.

All right kids, Leroy has been liberated!  I took out one of his antennas in the process... oops.  Plus I don't think he flew away.  For all you entomologists out there, I was not involved in any cruelty towards bugs - I just wanted to help my new friend Leroy out!

Goodbye, Leroy.  You were a comfort to me today.  May you grow back your leg and your antenna you lost in the emancipation process.  May you begin again in the grass underneath my window.

life update

What a weekend!   I volunteered at a very lame TIFF event and got rained on at at Big Brothers & Big Sisters fundraiser.  I've been volunteering at TIFF for the last 5 years and this year will be the last year I do this tomfoolery.   For such a high-profile event, the logistics are atrocious.  How hard is it to put together a 2 hour showcase?  The event started late, the talent looked like they'd rather do laundry and they had this court-jester entertaining the crowd while they got themselves together.  At least I got some free stuff out of it so it wasn't a total wash.

I have, however, decided that when I move I want to join a dragon boat team!  I love sports and I love being active; best of all I love being on a sports team.  I don't just want to work out - I want to train for something.  Going to the gym is great & all however if you don't have a goal in mind other than weight loss it's kinda pointless.  As much as I like going to the gym to watch the juice pigs pick up the stick insects, it's time to move on to something else.

The relocation continues - I'm still looking for jobs and places.  I think I'll find a place before I find a job so now I'll have to decide if I go before I find work.  Christiane's recruiter says I'll have a better chance of finding work if I'm actually there.  I don't know what I'm going to do just yet so for now we'll just roll with it.   

Words can't describe the excitement I feel about moving.  I finally can have a real life - a life that I choose for me and not for anyone else.  Only 54 days left!

And that's all I have to say about that.  For now, at least.

untitled thoughts

I'm sitting here watching Maury and man, I've seen it all.  Get this - woman is dating man, man cheats on her with woman's 18 yr old daughter, daughter gets pregnant and woman dumps man for cheating.  After all this, the baby is (say what?) NOT the man's.  Good gravy.  Now there's a story where a man has a secret to tell a woman and of course, turns out he's cheating on her with her much thinner and younger sister.  If you've ever seen the Maury show, you know 100% of the time when someone has a 'secret' to tell it's always cheating.  If I got a call from the Maury show telling me that my man has a 'secret', I'd go straight to him and say, what's up & tell me now, cuff him upside the head then scarf the free trip to New York.  You know you would do the same thing!

These days I've been mad busy!  It feels good to be busy... I've spent enough time making a dent in my couch. My volunteer work is really going to take off next week however I like what I do and it feels rewarding to do some good in the world.  I may not be making money, but at least it's better than nothing.  Christiane is going to check out 4 apartments for me starting on Sunday and I've got some great leads on jobs.  I can start to see the light - it's been a long time coming.

I just wish Bree & Jazz felt the same.  It hurts me knowing that they're 'concerned'... why?  When they come over to hang out, I've either got no money to do anything, no food to feed them or a combination of both.  I can never go on holiday with them because I'm always broke.  Is that any way to live life - skivving off your friends all the time?  Not for me it isn't.  I want to have fun; hell, right now I can't even afford to go out on a date.  This is not the life I had in mind for myself - living hand to mouth, bill collectors ringing down my phone like a 1-900 number... I can't help but wonder if that's what they want for me just so I can stay.  I don't think so however... oh, I dunno.  

Bree & Jazz, if you're reading this, please know that life is constantly evolving and I'm evolving with it.  I've wanted to make a fresh start for months now and finally it's now my time to shine.  I will miss you both like going outlet shopping in America!  The good times aren't over - they're only beginning!  We've all got our lives to lead and for the first time in my life, I can finally have a life.  

times a-changin'

I can't remember the last time I felt this excited.  As of today, I have 60 days left in Toronto!!!

(happy dance happy dance happy dance happy dance happy dance happy dance happy dance)

Yes, folks, in the next 2 months I'm going to pack up my life and move to another province in search of a better life.  Kinda reminds me of those cartoon characters from back in the day... you know, the ones with the handkerchief tied to the end of a stick slung over the shoulder... okay, so you might not get it but oh well.  

I spent most of the long weekend checking out jobs and apartments.  I've got a few good leads so far, so here's hoping.  

The one thing that's really floored me about all of this is the fact that there was something inside of me that kept saying, "Why bother?" every time I would look through the Toronto job boards.  Now I realize it was my gut Wilbur telling me that my time in Toronto was up yet I refused to listen as I thought my place was here because I was destined to be here.  Boy, was I wrong on that one!  

How empowering is it to finally realize I am in control of my life.  I do what feels right.  I do as I please.  Sure, I will lend an ear to the kind advice of my dear friends and selected family however at the end of the day I will do as I see fit.  WOOT!

Crazy how life can change for the better when you will it to be so.