Saturday, June 25, 2011

too many rainy days

It's finally stopped raining.  I'm watching track & field on CBC reliving my days as a track star many moons and many pounds ago.  Come to think of it, I think I just started running as a kid.  I ran to get from A to B.  I ran amok on the playground at school.  There was a trial for a 8x50m relay and I made the team... guess I just kept on doing it.  There is still a runner in me someplace... these days I'm trying to get it out.

Guess what I've done today?  Nothing.  Nada.  Nowt.  I woke up late which didn't help; sat around most of the day however I have been doing a few loads of laundry.  Makes me think depression still plays a significant part of my life thus far.

My mind, of course, is fantastically on fire.  I see myself as one of these runners flying through the air with the wind pushing me along to the finish line.  Inside my head I've achieved my own pre-defined success - a blog read by millions; renowned untrained artist; inspiring mother; wanton sex goddess.  Yet there's a notable disconnect between what's in my mind and what's my reality.  I actually don't know how to get from this A to B.  I try to make a start over and over again then I stop.  Not being funny but I'm tired of starting.  I wanna be able to finish strong just like I used to when I ran. Clear through the tape I'd run and I'd keep on going.

Time to bring running (sprinting) back.  It'll definitely help me get my groove back.