My life was never really the same after that, naturally. I graduated, moved on to other things and eventually I find myself here in what feels like the same place. I don't want to be in this place anymore. I want to have a proper life. I want to experience new & exciting things at the ripe old age of 31. I want to start all over. Guess what?? I have decided to do so. I'm going to leave the Big Smoke and head to Upper Canada. I'm going to leave Ontario and start fresh.
I got the idea from Christiane almost a week ago. We've been chatting about the cost of living up there and what life would be like in general... then it hit me. I could just go. I could finally make a life for myself. The thought initially scared me so I had to take a day or two to think about it. I chatted with Blanka about it and she told me that if there was a time to do this it would be now as I don't have anything keeping me here in Toronto. I honestly don't want to be in Toronto anymore. I feel like I don't belong here - like no matter what I do I just can't seem to find where I fit in.
Jazz nearly made me cry when I told her. She wants me to move in with her by the lake however I don't want to do that. That's not where I want to be. Bree is more diplomatic - she thinks I should just stay in Toronto and keep beating this dead horse I call my life. I'm tired of trying. I want life to stop passing me by and that's exactly what is happening the longer I stay in this town. Both Bree & Jazz are shocked to hear that I don't want to live here anymore because Athena = Toronto. I'm sure that equation would have been true awhile ago but not anymore. I have to do right by me. I have to keep a roof over my head and food in my belly and I could best do that elsewhere. Bree & Jazz are looking out me... I know this, yet I'm looking out for me as well. I'll still be a phone call away just like I am now. Sometimes I feel like a mainstay - a constant: for as long as the sun rises each morning, Athena will live & love Toronto. Hark! She has changed her mind. The sun will continue to rise each morning... now we'll all just have to watch it from a different place.
Hard to believe September begins in a few hours. This summer was, well, interesting to say the least. Even the leaves are beginning to change! Fall means change. Fall means fall fashions. Fall means mid-season sales. Fall now means pack up and head east! Whoo hoo!
(I'm really excited about moving... REALLY excited)