Friday, August 1, 2008

I've got plans for the long weekend

For the first time in 140 days, no bill collector has called me looking for blood from a stone. Happy days!  Let's celebrate!  I'll do that in my imagination - no tengo dineros!

Before I go any further, I want to pay my respects to the poor soul who lost his life on a Greyhound bus by some maniac out west.  I've never known any Canadian who could be that cruel as to cut off a total stranger's head and throw it on the ground.  What a devastating thing to happen.  I'm sure no one's going to want to take Greyhound ever again - I know I wouldn't.

On to more lighter topics.  It's Friday night of a long weekend for those of us in Ontario.  Got plans?  Me?  Heh heh heh. I'm doing what I do best these days - sweet nothing.  I can't afford to do anything anyways.  Most (if not all) of my friends are doing something-or-other with their significant others.  Maybe they all think I've got plans.   It's happened to me before... I sit at home in front of the TV whilst the world lives it up around me and people call me up to say, didn't you have plans?  I thought you were going to _______ or hang out with _________.   I guess all those supposed plans just cancel themselves out so I'm left sitting here spending quality time with my PVR.

I'm sure you've come to the conclusion that I think about stuff alot, eh?  I wonder if I'd still feel lonely if I was employed.  When I was working, I still felt quite lonely. I'm not one to hit up the clubs or those dating sites that everyone seems to be having so much success with (I got all of their rubbish - great).  Am I looking for friends or a boyfriend to call my own?  A bit of both, if I may be so bold as to answer my own question.  I'd love to have a boyfriend.  Why not?  I like to think I've got a lot to offer - intriguing personality, killer curves and a mind that just won't quit.  No, I'm not a narcissist... someone's gotta toot my horn!

Truth be told, if I met someone right now I'd run for the hills.  "Hi, I'm Athena and I'm collecting government cheese.  I have a toonie in my bank account.  Wanna go out for some air sometime?"  Sounds like someone you'd take home to the folks right quick!  Maybe I just want someone who'll be there for me.  Someone who thinks the sun shines out of my backside.  Someone I can share my feelings with.  Someone who knows how to operate telephonic devices.  Someone who doesn't get "busy".   Are you out there?  Do you even exist?  In my dreams, maybe.  Rob James-Collier, you just don't know!  Once you go Canadian, you'll never cross the pond again!

There's those that say I should learn to love myself first before I can love anyone else.  This is very true however no one loves Athena like Athena.  Athena is sick & tired of being all things to Athena when the rest of the world is "busy".  I wonder if I'll ever find what I'm looking for. To top it off, nowadays I don't feel like I fit in anywhere.  Right now I feel like I don't belong with anyone or anything except here in my apartment in the company of my stuffed polar bear Bill.  I spend lots of time with Bill because he's never "busy" and he listens to me.  

I do have issues I need to work out for myself.  Who doesn't these days?  I'm trying my best to work through my issues on my own.  I read all kinds of books on the topic, actually... reminds me of something one of my exes told me: "Athena, you won't find life's answers in a book."  He knew how much I loved to read - hell, I still do.  Reading is cheap entertainment and the library isn't too far away.  S'pose I could just read all weekend.  I've got 4 books on the go and I could have them all done by holiday Monday.  

A-ha!  I just came up with some weekend plans. WOOT, WOOT!