Friday, August 22, 2008

en eaux calmes

Briony has been in town for the last few days and it's been nice to kick back and have a few laughs.   Hard to believe that summer is almost over.  Where has the time gone?  Do I have anything to show for it?  I've got a lovely tattoo and a new outlook on life.  If I haven't said it before, I'll say it again: I can do anything in this life.

Lately I've been thinking about next steps or what I'm going to do in the event of a worst case scenario.  I've narrowed it down to leaving the country to live with my uncle.  There I can relax, write and contemplate moving back to Canada to do something or other.  Quite possibly, I've run my course here.  After that farce of an interview with that messed-up multinational, I'm further convinced my calling is not in the corporate world.   As it happens I must provide for myself in some fashion but how without comprising what I feel is best for me?  I know now that I am not bound by tradition.  Normal doesn't exist.  I wasn't meant to lead a normal, traditional life.

Right now I would love nothing more for the next phase of my life to start.   I'm done with my current situation.  I'm tired of bill collectors, government cheese and wondering where my next meal is coming from.  Knowing that I can do anything is quite daunting.  As much as I want to run away (guess I lost the fight or flight battle), something is provoking me to stay.  For now, I'll stay... for now.