Monday, May 30, 2011

paying homage to the original revolution

You will not be able to stay home, brother.
You will not be able to plug in, turn on and cop out.
You will not be able to lose yourself on skag and skip,
Skip out for beer during commercials,
Because the revolution will not be televised.
The revolution will not be televised.
The revolution will not be brought to you by Xerox
In 4 parts without commercial interruptions.
The revolution will not show you pictures of Nixon
blowing a bugle and leading a charge by John
Mitchell, General Abrams and Spiro Agnew to eat
hog maws confiscated from a Harlem sanctuary.
The revolution will not be televised.
The revolution will not be brought to you by the 
Schaefer Award Theatre and will not star Natalie
Woods and Steve McQueen or Bullwinkle and Julia.
The revolution will not give your mouth sex appeal.
The revolution will not get rid of the nubs.
The revolution will not make you look five pounds
thinner, because the revolution will not be televised, Brother.
There will be no pictures of you and Willie May
pushing that shopping cart down the block on the dead run,
or trying to slide that color television into a stolen ambulance.
NBC will not be able predict the winner at 8:32
or report from 29 districts.
The revolution will not be televised.
There will be no pictures of pigs shooting down
brothers in the instant replay.
There will be no pictures of pigs shooting down
brothers in the instant replay.
There will be no pictures of Whitney Young being
run out of Harlem on a rail with a brand new process.
There will be no slow motion or still life of Roy
Wilkens strolling through Watts in a Red, Black and
Green liberation jumpsuit that he had been saving
For just the proper occasion.
Green Acres, The Beverly Hillbillies, and Hooterville
Junction will no longer be so damned relevant, and
women will not care if Dick finally gets down with
Jane on Search for Tomorrow because Black people
will be in the street looking for a brighter day.
The revolution will not be televised.
There will be no highlights on the eleven o'clock
news and no pictures of hairy armed women
liberationists and Jackie Onassis blowing her nose.
The theme song will not be written by Jim Webb,
Francis Scott Key, nor sung by Glen Campbell, Tom
Jones, Johnny Cash, Englebert Humperdink, or the Rare Earth.
The revolution will not be televised.
The revolution will not be right back after a message
bbout a white tornado, white lightning, or white people.
You will not have to worry about a dove in your
bedroom, a tiger in your tank, or the giant in your toilet bowl.
The revolution will not go better with Coke.
The revolution will not fight the germs that may cause bad breath.
The revolution will put you in the driver's seat.
The revolution will not be televised, will not be televised,
will not be televised, will not be televised.
The revolution will be no re-run brothers;
The revolution will be live.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

this revolution sure ain't gonna be televised

I never heard of Gil Scott-Heron before today but I'm loving his song "The Revolution Will Not Be Televised".  May he rest in peace.

I want to be credited with starting a revolution of my own.  Broke folks, rise up!  Not being employed does not make you part of the scum echelons of society.  Unemployment does not mean you have lost all capability of cognitive & complex thought.  Living on a budget still means you deserve respect.  There is such a stigma about being a statistic and I'm here to say that today, that stigma has died because I killed it.  We all can kill it and make it stay dead!  Why is it that one is perceived to be better off working for a pittance than collecting EI?  Yes, right now I'm collecting EI.  I've been paying into it for almost twenty years.  Sure, I'm not looking for a job at the moment.  Wanna know why?  I'm finding Athena.  I'm healing my mind, body & soul.  So step off if you think I'm not a contributing member of society.  I'd rather have my health than be broken from the inside out.

Join me in this revolution.  I can tell you how to thrive while being broke.  I've been through it all - downsizing, firing, illness, eviction, bankruptcy; yet I found the love of my life while I was unemployed.  I'll show you how to make the most of your severance package.  I'll let you know when the essentials are on sale so you can keep your head above water.  Broke folks are not down & out - we're on a time out from life.

Fear not retribution!  Your bank balance does not define you!  Your employer does not define you nor your lifestyle!  Life will go on!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

broke-ass cookin' tonite!

I love my Ethan.  Know why?  He's agreed to test my broke-ass cookin' with me today!  Keep ya posted.

it's a... baby?

I just read with shock a ridiculous article about a Toronto couple who've decided not to reveal the gender of their newborn child.  Only Mum, Dad & brothers know if the baby is a boy or a girl.  The parents feel that they'll mess up the kid if it has to identify with what's in 'between its legs'.


This is one of the most asinine things I've heard in a long time.  What is wrong with parents today?  Why is there this incessant need to shelter children from life?  My friend Jasmine is a teacher - she has told me some stories about the generation of kids growing up today.  For instance, there are some sports leagues out there that will enforce a rule where if you're blowing out the other team, you will lose so that no one has to experience losing.  Or how about not keeping a kid back a grade?  The best story Jasmine told me is how she's heard of parents going to their kid's job interviews.  Back in my HR days, I actually got an email from a mother who was sending out CVs for her son...?  What the eff is this nonsense?  Are kids today just supposed to float through life?  What happens when they have to face up to situations requiring complex thought & decisions?  Will Mommy & Daddy always be there to save the day?

Come on, people.  Talk about effing a kid up for life.  Sure, there are kids out there with gender identity issues.  Let me be crystal clear on this - I am simply saying that to deny a child its gender is taking its decision-making ability away from themselves.  Mommy & Daddy have decided I have no gender.  What bathroom do I use at school?  Am I supposed to like dolls or trucks?  No dear, you're not going to be anything at all.  So what happens when the child asks why did I grow up like this?  Why did you choose me for this sordid social experiment?

Of all the things to do to an innocent child.  Call CAS - this kid needs to be repossessed.

Besides, the baby looks like a boy anyway.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

broke-ass cookin' with Athena Titanides

Watching Oprah's last show really struck a chord in me.  She spoke of finding your true calling and to listen to the whisper of Higher Power.  I heard a whisper and so here it is - I'm going to share with you how to eat well when you're broke.  I have a lot of experience in this area... trust me on this.

First of all, doesn't matter if you're a singleton or if you've got a lot of little ones to feed.  You can eat good food (read: not shite) on a budget.  For all you recently downsized six-figure suits wondering how on earth you'll survive, hear me now: Cooking is not beneath you.  If you can make multimillion dollar decisions, you can cook.  Losing a job no matter the circumstance is hard; it doesn't mean that you need to turn to mechanically separated meats to get by.

I'm using Metro's flyer for May 26 - June 1st.  For breakfast, why not have some strawberries, blackberries and raspberries (3 for $5)?  For all you superkeeners, add a serving of yogurt ($1.99).  Seven dollars will give you a great start for about a buck per serving.  That's right - a loonie.

Cashmere is on sale for $2.99 for 8 oversize rolls.   Stock up on this, kids - this is a great deal.  There's nothing like wiping your backside with the good stuff.

How about a nitrate-free roast beef sandwich (roast beef: $1.59 per 100 g) with Boston lettuce ($1.49 a head) on Vilaggio buns (2 packages for $5.00)?  Wash it down with a glass of  Garden Cocktail (2 bottles for $5.00) for an extra serving of veggies.

Dinner has to be my favourite meal of the day.  Take a pork tenderloin ($2.99/lb) and cut it open.  Sprinkle salt & pepper all over the surface.  Line one end with fresh herbs of your choice (3 for $5) and a   couple of slices of brie cheese ($2.89 per 100g).  Roll it up and bake at 350 for at least 30 minutes.  Serve with steamed asparagus ($2.99/lb) and sliced cucumbers (3 for $1.99).

Here's the best part.  All this will cost you $38.92 before taxes.  Not only will you be eating well, you'll be eating like a rock star.  I've done my best to stay away from ready-made processed shite as this is just poo in its purest form.

Before I move further, I want you all to know that I'm a firm believer in great food that's great for you.  If you can, make as much as you can by hand.  That way you know what's in your food.  If you see something on a label that says "mechanically separated", run for the hills.  That's nasty.  I want to put this myth of cheap food = shite food therefore it's all I can afford to rest.  It's a load of crap.  I know what it's like to be broke more than you know so trust me when I say this - DO NOT turn to processed foods when money is tight.  It's not worth it in the long run.  Your health is priceless and during times of broke-ness is not the time to gamble with your health.  A healthy you is going to get you back on track.

This is something I've been meaning to do for some time.  I love food and I want to share my broke experiences with you all.  If you're unemployed like I am right now, there is NO SHAME in your situation.  You are still you.  Don't let anyone treat you like a piece of poo because you don't have a job. You are merely going through a temporary situation - that's all.  If anyone does treat you differently, always remember that the world works in circles; one day that person who cast that stone will be looking to you for advice to eke out an existence on a budget.  It's high time that this negative stigma disappear, especially in these economic times.

Whew!  That's all for now.  Follow me on Twitter: @athenatitanides.  You can also email me at if you have questions, beefs or congrats.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

weight loss according to me

Not sure if you all know this but I've been trying to lose weight for a few months now.  Before I got started  I googled programs that I thought would work for me.  My fiance Ethan bought me a Wii Balance Board for Christmas with The Biggest Loser Challenge and I did that for a couple of months. I lost 5 lbs and gained back 2 lbs.  To be honest, I got bored of it.  Yes, I do have more than 20 lbs to lose however I'm a very muscular person so losing weight is more of a challenge for me.

Yet that's not even the half of it.  There are some programs out there are are completely asinine - Insanity is one of them.  It involves activity to induce cardiac arrest so you can get "ripped" in no time.  Between getting "ripped", "shredded" and reducing my diet to that of a zoo animal, I realized something.  There is no magic way to lose weight.  All you need is a proper diet and exercise.  That's all.  No foolin'!

I tried the Atkins diet several years ago and became very ill as a result.  Carbs are not the enemy, people.  Shit food is the enemy.  When you watch The Biggest Loser, the contestants have been eating shit for years so that's why they are 300+ lbs.  If you weigh that much and never move around then obviously you're going to lose all that weight right away because your body is in shock from eating things that are actually good for you.  Don't get me wrong - I am a huge fan of The Biggest Loser.  I just wish that people would wake up and realize ready-made foods are full of shit.

After watching 2 episodes of Two Greedy Italians, I had another realization.  In Italy, fresh food is plentiful yet not everyone could afford it.  People made ends meet by making 'poor-man's food' or 'cucina povera' (the latter sounds more posh in my opinion).  They didn't stock up on Ramen noodles or instant macaroni & cheese; they made pasta with tomato sauce.  They made pizza.  They made stews from fresh fish caught earlier in the day.  In other words, they created a way to survive and it was healthy.  So why can't we do that over here?  We are surrounded by foods that are supposed to make life easier.  Zap it in the microwave for 30 seconds and you have a meal.  Instant this and pre-cooked that make people fat.  

Therefore I've found a way to lose weight that I'm confident will work for me.  Eat fresh food and move.   That's the key, folks.  Never mind all these cockamamie programs that promise to slim you down beyond all recognition.  Stop eating shit.  I've done it - you can too!

Sunday, May 8, 2011

walking on - Athena style

What a lovely Mother's Day.  The sun is shining, the sky is blue and I've just completed day 1 of my new Walk for Wellness program.  It's pretty simple - I walk outside for 20+ minutes 3-4x/wk.  Just my iPod and myself al fresco.  I wanted to change up my workout program and do something a bit more holistic... meaning I can be alone with my thoughts if I choose to.

Let's talk about Ruth Ellen Brosseau, the NDP's new 'it girl'.  We all know the story - she was in Vegas during the election (to me this means Stevie H could've gone to the Royal Wedding), she barely speaks French and she's been keeping a low profile this whole time.  Yet the people of Berthier-Maskinonge voted overwhelmingly for this woman to represent them in the House of Parliament.  Call me crazy but doesn't it seem odd to vote for someone you've never met and didn't do any campaigning?  Did these voters know who Ms. Brosseau was or what she stood for?  I maintain to this day she was elected in order to give a seat to the NDP in Quebec despite her candidacy.  

Ruthie, if you're out there, spare yourself any further grief and just show your face.  Stand up to the naysayers and prove that you will do what it takes to be the MP for Berthier-Maskinonge.  If you're not up to the task, then for goodness sake just say so and be done with it so we can all put this behind us and proceed to the inevitable task of having Stevie H as our Prime Minister (dammit).

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

guess who's bizzack?!

Hello world, I'm back.  After many changes to this blog and lots of time passed, I had to come back to the world of blogging because I've got something to say about life.

Two days ago my beloved Dominion of Canada sunk into its darkest hour.  A bunch of people decided that they don't mind corporate tax breaks and new fighter jets and gave Stevie H a majority government.  Who voted for this wingnut?  Was it you?  If it was, then shame befall you.  I never knew Canada to be so right-wing.  People around the world think that we're idiots.  Let me be the first to tell you Mama didn't raise no fool to vote Conservative.  All you people out there who voted for Stevie had better not whinge when it all goes to hell.  It will, you know.  And I'll be there to say I told you so!

There is a bright spot in all of this - Jack Layton & the NDP will be the Official Opposition.  This means we might have some hope in all this.  Jackie L isn't going to stand for foolishness.  If I have to, I'll write to anyone who'll listen to say please help us; everyone's turned into a total wanker.

Before all of this nonsense, there was the Royal Wedding.  Wills & Kate's nuptials were gorgeous.  For one day the world stopped to celebrate love.  We all watched as these cuties promised to love one another come what may.  The next day, Osama bin Laden's been shot dead and buried at sea.  Since bad things happen in threes, Canadians elect a rather odd-looking bloke to run the country.

Kids, we have to stay strong.  We have to rise above the Conservative tossers in Parliament.  Please Lizzie, save us from ourselves.  Do not give Stevie the OK to form a Parliament.  If you do, you'll send us back two steps too many.