Sunday, January 29, 2012

get a job

My future mother-in-law is always on my arse to get a job.  She thinks I'm a total gold digger like the chicky in this song:

Well doesn't it just suck for her that I'm not a trifling gold digger.  "Get a job" she tells me through Ethan. 
"Why can't she just get a job?  I used to get jobs very easily"
"How hard is it to get a job?"
"She can get a job as a secretary no problem"
"There's so many jobs out there - she can't be choosy"

Rather than telling her where to go & how to get there, I want to tell you all just what it's like to go get a job.

First, let's look at my qualifications.  I have a bachelor's degree & a college certificate.  I have 10 years experience in people management.  I know Mac OS, Office, Adobe, HTML & a bunch of database systems.  I can type 60+ WPM.  I can read, write & breathe on my own.  

I see a job posting that I know I can do.  I adjust my CV to highlight my experiences to illustrate how I would be good for the job.  I fill out the long-ass online application. I draft a lovely cover letter & upload my CV to the employer's and/or recruiter's database.  I get an email saying thanks for your interest - don't call us we'll call you.  Then I wait.

Here's the thing.  There are thousands of jobs posted online.  There's the "hidden job market" that's clearly not available for you & me.  So why is it so damn difficult to get a job?  I'll tell you why.

Employers want people who will keep up the serfdom atmosphere of their establishment.  The ideal candidate is someone who's going to kiss their ring because they pay them every 2 weeks.   Someone who won't question their methods or business decisions.  Someone who'll eat lunch at the cool kids' table in the lunchroom & play with them after school.  Someone who'll be their confidante after 1 business day.  People, listen to me when I say employers will look at your qualifications to a limited degree.  If you aren't willing to do any of the things I listed above, they'll tell you that a) they have found someone who meets their requirements; b) we've found someone who's a better fit or best of all c) we think you're overqualified & you might leave for something better.

As you can see, my job searching experiences has left me with somewhat of a bitter taste in my mouth. Just to illustrate what I mean, I'm going to apply to a job.  I'm going to send my CV & do all the things I'm supposed to do.  Of course, I'll keep you all posted.