if I had 700 billion dollars...

If you haven't heard about the USA's bright-bulb idea to give $700 billion dollars to investors who blanked everything up, get out from under your rock and check out this funny funny stuff!

How much is 700 billion dollars?  According to Global News, it can buy every team in the NFL 20 times over.  Is that even fathomable?  Where in the name of everything green & good do you come up with 700 billion dollars?  Do you just print more money?  Stamp out a few extra pennies?  

While watching the news this morning, I knew I had to say something on my blog.  These people are pooing themselves because the deal got struck down.  Heavens to Betsy, what will we do?  Are we going to have to let Carmelita and Julio go?  Are we going to have to sell our weekend estate in the Hamptons?  How will I fill up my Maybach and my son's Saleen?  Boo blanking hoo.

Remember the guy in France who screwed over his company to the tune of a couple of billion euros some time ago?  I have to say, that was kinda funny.  All this time this unsuspecting bloke is siphoning money from everyone & their mother and nobody notices until it's too late.  Talk about an HR issue!  I think our hero is in jail now feasting on bread & water.  So let me be so bold as to ask this: why aren't the fools who buggered up the US economy on the hook for it like the France guy?  It's like rewarding poor performance.  If there is enough cheddar to bail out the markets, where was that same chunk of change to fix New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina?  The USA would indeed be the richest nation on earth since that money could be used to bail out the millions of people in debt and improve their way of life.  No personal debt = more money to spend in the economy = happy days!

Then again, why should I care about what's going on with our neighbours to the south?  I'm a proud Canadian.  I don't even think Canada even has 700 billion dollars to its name.  In light of the upcoming election, can you imagine if my buddy Steve announced that he would give 70 billion dollars to Bay Street?  I'd be hopping mad to say the least!!  Both Wall Street and Bay Street are going on about how this is the end and our way of life is going to pot.

Do they really know what that's like?  Somehow I don't think so.  I would invite the suits on Bay Street to live a day in my life.  How would they deal with bill collectors ringing down their CrackBerries?  What kind of investments would they make with a net worth of 82 cents?  How would they buy an Armani suit with $400 a month of government cheese?

My point is this - it may seem dismal that the markets are all over the place and people's investments are all buggered up but at least they have money to save.  They have money to put away for a rainy day.  Think about those people like myself who are struggling each moment of each day just to survive.  The sky already fell on my head so now these folks have a chance to experience that crashing sensation - even if only for a moment.

It's payday today so I'm off to get myself something to eat.

three days ago

Three days ago I had a charity event to attend.  Thinking I could get there early, I left 10 minutes early to get there in time to schmooze a bit and stuff my face with free food.  When I got to the station, there was this rather surly man shooing people away from the subway entrance saying that the subway was closed.  Oh, bother.  I overheard various explanations from passers-by: shooting at Eglinton Station, signals out, another rush hour jumper.  So I headed to the street to catch a shuttle bus.

There were people EVERYWHERE on the street.  I saw tons of southbound shuttle buses but no northbound ones.  Odd?  Not for the TTC.  I should note here that I have approximately $2.82 to my name and I had to use most of that to get on some form of public transit. I waited and waited and watched as all these shuttle buses came and went.  Aargh!

I kicked the bus and I liked it, blank it all.  Is this seriously where my tax dollars go?  I struck up a conversation with this friendly bloke named Raj.  He had to get to Finch so we both decided that on pain of death, we were getting on the next shuttle.  Of course, no luck.  People were being generally unpleasant the moment the bus doors opened, thus further reaffirming my hatred for the general population.  The bus doors closed and drove off in a cloud of carbon emissions on its way to disappoint more people.

Raj caught the attention of 2 women in a car heading northbound.  They asked him what was going on and he told them about the busted subway.  Then Raj asked them where they were going and they said Eglinton.  Raj looks at me as if to say, do you wanna ride?  The women offered to drive us to Eglinton.  Sure, I got in car with 3 complete strangers.  I did have my phone on me and my trusty mini-bottle of Lysol just in case someone wanted their eyes disinfected.  

Out of all this, I find out that Raj is some big cheese at a credit union and could possibly hook me up with job à Montréal.  I don't care what anyone says, that's Providence at work.  He gave me his business card and told me to contact him since he's pretty much the man at this credit union.  I'm freaking out by this point - what are the chances?!

We arrived at Eglinton and Raj & I thank the 2 women profusely for their act of kindness.  I also saw that Raj did get on a bus to Finch after all that.  

So what, you say?  So this - there are still good people in this world.  These 2 women took a chance and helped out 2 total strangers who were just trying to get from point A to B.  If the subway hadn't broken down, I would've never met Raj.  Sure enough, there is a job at the credit union in Montreal that Raj could totally hook me up with.  

Here's to Providence - it might have just changed my life forever.

bollocks

Tonight I witnessed an incredible display of sheer bollocks.  I work with a volunteer group a few times a month and we have a senior member who will be leaving in the next few weeks.  This person stood up in front of the group and said her peace - she had her reasons for leaving but she wanted to clear the air before her departure.  I watched the remaining group members' reactions to the things this person had to say (I adore people watching... it's not only great fun, it's cheap fun!).  Instead of just politely acknowledging her views and saying adieu, people began to tell her that it's okay, we don't think less of you for saying your piece, blah, blah, blah.

I'm so glad I have this blog because I can say my piece so nyah to you all!  This person had the bollocks to let the group know just what she felt.  Whether or not the rest of the group agrees with it is irrelevant - we should've just said thanks for letting us know and moved on with what we needed to do.  Did we?  Oh no.  I then witnessed another great spectacle - one group member who I'll call Toolbox says to the person's face that we don't think less of you and how could you say such a thing?  When the person left, he was the first one to say all kinds of smack.  Are you blanking kidding me?!  What does that say about Toolbox's character and integrity?  Not a blanking thing, that's for damn sure.  

Toolbox then went on to question my expertise in my field.  Good thing I can hide when I'm getting vexed about something.  I don't question the crap he does so what the blank?!  I'm confident I don't speak ancient Aramaic because tonight, it seemed like whatever suggestion I made, Toolbox was the first one to say no to it.  The things I wanted to discuss weren't out of the ordinary for what I do in my field so he needed to shut his yap and let me explain myself.  Nothing vexes me more than when people assume that Athena is an idiot.  Got news for ya - I'm not an idiot.  I know what I'm talking about when I open up my piehole.  Obviously Toolbox's life experience stems from playing The Sims in his parent's basement that he calls home but hey, that's his cross to bear, you know what I mean?

Either way, tonight was pure jokes.  It just further reaffirms that there are some mothercluckers out there that have the IQ of a toilet paper roll but somehow, they get through life... they get the hookups, the perks and those who have some semblance of complex cognitive thought processes get left behind to pick up the mothercluckers' scraps.  No way, I say!   Athena will stand for no sort of this nonsense!  Up with people!

May the Force be with us all.

existentially speaking

It's almost midnight, the moon is high in the sky and I've just ordered a huge pizza.  I had no idea that it would take me almost an hour to find a pizza joint in Toronto that will deliver at this hour.  What the blank is up with this city??  Don't they understand my cravings when the moon is high in the sky?  Have they no concept of my tendencies to stuff my face for comfort?

For the last two days I've been feeling lost... like I have no clue where my life is going and if I make a step in one direction I might 86 another opportunity... therefore I stay put and wait to see where the chips fall.  I hate this feeling.  I'm sure you all know the score by now - I'm tired of thinking about money all the time.  I don't know what it's like to not have to worry about money.  Will that day ever come for me?  Or am I destined for destitution?

Dr Phil has just published a book about the seven worst days of one's life.  So here are the days, according to Athena:

Loss -- the day that I have lost myself

Fear -- the day that I realized every choice I made up until this point was dictated by other people's expectations, not based on my own goals and desires

Adaptability Breakdown -- the day that the pressures of balancing phone calls from bill collectors have become way too overwhelming and I realized that I am in way over my head

Physical Health -- the day that my body revolts against itself because of illness, trauma, or disease as a direct result of worrying about money

Mental Health -- the day that the mind breaks down over constant worrying about lack of money

Addiction -- the day that addiction to fried food and chocolate takes over and my backside swells to catastrophic proportions

[my personal favourite] Existential Crisis -- the day that I lost the purpose, compass, and connection to meaning in life and have no answer to the question "Why?"

Ain't Dr. Phil great?  I can say I've had all these days.  As I write this, today has become tomorrow... or has tomorrow become today?  I don't really know.  

Can't wait for the pizza to get here.  I'll just eat my sorrows away for the time being.