Tuesday, September 30, 2008

if I had 700 billion dollars...

If you haven't heard about the USA's bright-bulb idea to give $700 billion dollars to investors who blanked everything up, get out from under your rock and check out this funny funny stuff!

How much is 700 billion dollars?  According to Global News, it can buy every team in the NFL 20 times over.  Is that even fathomable?  Where in the name of everything green & good do you come up with 700 billion dollars?  Do you just print more money?  Stamp out a few extra pennies?  

While watching the news this morning, I knew I had to say something on my blog.  These people are pooing themselves because the deal got struck down.  Heavens to Betsy, what will we do?  Are we going to have to let Carmelita and Julio go?  Are we going to have to sell our weekend estate in the Hamptons?  How will I fill up my Maybach and my son's Saleen?  Boo blanking hoo.

Remember the guy in France who screwed over his company to the tune of a couple of billion euros some time ago?  I have to say, that was kinda funny.  All this time this unsuspecting bloke is siphoning money from everyone & their mother and nobody notices until it's too late.  Talk about an HR issue!  I think our hero is in jail now feasting on bread & water.  So let me be so bold as to ask this: why aren't the fools who buggered up the US economy on the hook for it like the France guy?  It's like rewarding poor performance.  If there is enough cheddar to bail out the markets, where was that same chunk of change to fix New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina?  The USA would indeed be the richest nation on earth since that money could be used to bail out the millions of people in debt and improve their way of life.  No personal debt = more money to spend in the economy = happy days!

Then again, why should I care about what's going on with our neighbours to the south?  I'm a proud Canadian.  I don't even think Canada even has 700 billion dollars to its name.  In light of the upcoming election, can you imagine if my buddy Steve announced that he would give 70 billion dollars to Bay Street?  I'd be hopping mad to say the least!!  Both Wall Street and Bay Street are going on about how this is the end and our way of life is going to pot.

Do they really know what that's like?  Somehow I don't think so.  I would invite the suits on Bay Street to live a day in my life.  How would they deal with bill collectors ringing down their CrackBerries?  What kind of investments would they make with a net worth of 82 cents?  How would they buy an Armani suit with $400 a month of government cheese?

My point is this - it may seem dismal that the markets are all over the place and people's investments are all buggered up but at least they have money to save.  They have money to put away for a rainy day.  Think about those people like myself who are struggling each moment of each day just to survive.  The sky already fell on my head so now these folks have a chance to experience that crashing sensation - even if only for a moment.

It's payday today so I'm off to get myself something to eat.