Friday, October 17, 2008


I've never known a time in my life where I've felt so helpless.  Every faint glimmer of hope seems to be failing around me.  Just when I think I'm making progress, something happens to 86 that noise.  

A few days ago I went to the Baptist church on the corner to offer up a prayer to the powers that be.  I'm not a regular church goer by no means but I am indeed spiritual.  It was actually quite nice to sit in the church and have a few moments to clear my head.  

Right now I feel defeated.  I just want a better life for myself.  Knowing that the people who share the same DNA strands choose not to help is very disconcerting.  Family, eh?  Whatever.  That word means nothing to me.  Just because you're 'family' doesn't mean squat.  It does hurt  knowing they don't care.  So now I will stop caring about them.

I'm supposed to move in the next few weeks.  How I'm going to pull that off only heaven knows. I'm off to the church for round 2 of Conversations with God.  I need a miracle right now.