I don't really know why but I just don't feel like doing anything. It's as if I'm waiting for the end of something and it's not coming. I remember this feeling from about 7 years ago - I had no money for food or rent and I would spend my days searching for jobs and doing not much else. Back then I didn't have a clue what would happen to me.
Right now I don't have a clue what will happen to me. Yet I have to wonder if there's something more to all of this...? My aunt says I have to let go of all the anger I have towards the people in my life and only after I do that I can move on. She's probably right in all honesty however once I do that, what do I move on to? What's out there for me?
Try to imagine that tomorrow will bring nothingness. That's exactly how I feel at this moment. Like when I go to sleep tonight I will wake tomorrow to more of the same.
Could it be that the next chapter in this life is right there in front of my face and I just don't (or can't) see it. If that is the case then I wish I could just open up my eyes to what is actually there.