Yesterday I was on craigslist trolling for jobs when a sudden wave of curiosity hits me. I click on "men seeking women" just to see what I can see. There are really some disgusting people out there. One guy posted something along the lines of how he wants younger women so he can teach them about life... what the ____? There was also a lot of people asking for booty calls. That puts me in the mind of harlotry. With all the cooties out there it just seems kinda sick to put an ad on the web like you're advertising your services like those annoying carpet cleaning companies that call you during dinner. Come on, people - have a bit more respect for yourself than that!
Let's move on. I come across this ad that was quite personable and it made me laugh. Then I got a feeling - not like a boner feeling but a sneaky feeling. I remembered that I have an alter ego email address so I sent this gentleman a message. I thought he wouldn't reply back (my defeatist self-fulfilling prophecy) but he actually did! He seems really nice and not too long ago he sent me a pic. He's really cute! Nice eyes and all. Only one problem - he doesn't know my real name yet. Yeah - I sorta told him my fake name. Oops.
Now he's asking for pics. I sent him a few of me. He wants to see my body. I can't think.
Pics are sent - he likes what he sees. Phew! Best part is that he's tall. Praise the Sun!
What does it mean when a guy says "let's hang out?" Does that mean a date? The last date I went on was an hour of my life I'll never get back. There's been no one in my life since Ian the Overall Disaster and that was years back. I always thought I didn't have anything to offer anyone because I have no job and I don't know what I want to do with my life and I have to rely on Steve-H to pay my bills... I need a drink.
Now I'm armed with a glass of red wine. This is why I love this province - you can buy a decent bottle of vino. He's gone now - says he's going to the movies. I can relax now.
You should know that I have been writing this the whole time I was chatting with this bloke. Everything that I've written here is just like an episode of 24 - in real time... even when I went to get a glass of wine.
Good gravy, I could very well be going on a date in the near future. Thank God I got my hair did. For the first time (I think) in my entire life, this chap seems like a guy I could actually date... for real. Sure, he alluded to wanting to bone me right away but he'll learn soon enough that I don't do that kind of thing... at least not anymore.
What happens next? I'm going to finish my glass of wine and take a bunch of deep breaths.